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Pheylyurre
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read my profile
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Name: Jessica
Country: United States
State: Oregon
Birthday: 8/29/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: Crafts, Art, Collecting all things Snoopy, Listening to Rent and Newsies, and Having fun!!!
Expertise: All
Occupation: Student
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message me
Member Since:
12/9/2002
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In a week and a day I will be in another country. Holy fucking shit!
Whew, okay that felt good...
...now back to denial. | | |
|  All this talk about men and women (see phonetic) has inspired me to put in my two cents on my own site. Although, this is more of my own rant than a response to anyone else.
Men and women have different pressures on them. For men validation comes from being masculine and I think guys have it much worse than girls in terms of the consequences of being different, i.e. a bit femmy (feminine), even if that is who they are. Girls on the other hand are pushed to be feminine, but more importantly attractive. Most heterosexual girls growing up in the United States today believe that their happiness is tied to attracting a man or men, having one fall madly in love with her, and settling down. Thus, self-esteem boosts for girls are intrinsic to their feeling attractive and men telling and showing them that they are. Boys, I would venture to say, though I am not one, get self-esteem boosts from compliments related to their masculinity. Plus, everyone has their own individual issues, right? So when we (men and women) come together, for instance in dating and relationships, these pressures play themselves out and get in our way. Women want a strong (masculine) man to protect them and men want a somewhat weak (feminine) woman that they can protect. (Stereotypes, I know). However, neither one is finding happiness because the women realize love doesn’t always last and they can’t rely on men for a source of happiness and men realize that they can’t be happy unless they are truly themselves. We have to de-program ourselves.
As much as I love romantic comedies, they teach girls that getting the guy and having that kiss is IT, true happiness, because it is implied that they live happily ever after. Crap! I do not believe that women can be happy if they live their life for that man, for that kiss, while it may be fantastic, there is no guarantee. Call me jaded, but I want to spend more time living for my friends, my career, and most importantly MYSELF, thus getting used to the idea of being a singleton (a.k.a. not married) for the rest of my life. I don’t hate men, I just don’t NEED men, I WANT men (thought perhaps not 24/7)! That felt good. Kinda went off on a tangent, but dats coo’.
When it comes down to it, I think attraction is much more complicated than stereotypes and very individual. So, we have to look beyond the stereotypes into the depths of people. And also LOOK AT OURSELVES—what makes us happy outside of what society tell us should. Beyond feminism, this is gender relations!
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|  Feeling much better than I have in a long time
Okay, much too tell! Had a great time with Clay--good to know that some things never change. Clay will still punch me everytime he sees a slug bug. Lots of laughter in Seattle!
I also had a marathon day with Sarah and Makiko, which started with one of the most interesting events I have ever attended. Called Peacock in the Park, it was a drag show raising money for a scholarship fund. I thought the best part of it was going to be that Pink Martini was playing there (J Lee I have pictures and a movie of Amado Mio, just for you on my NEW digital camera!), but instead, the best part was the fact that I have never been surrounded by so many happy, lively, excited people. It was as if by attending I had become part of a community for a day--accepting, fun, and full of life! I mean where else do you get thrown a jello shot by a random, friendly, mullet-sporting woman from the audience who has been going to this event since it started (eighteen years ago!). I just had to smile. (If you're wondering: I did not have the jello shot--just a taste, though I can't say the same for my companions or my jello shot throwing friend). I also couldn't help but laugh as the nice man next to us let Makiko wear his sunglasses adorned with a pink flamingo, called her Micky (because he couldn't understand her name), and offered us drinks. Plus, the drag show was great! Nothing like big wigs, foot-tall tiaras, sparkling dresses, and lip-syncing divas to get be entralled. Good times! I was only sorry that this is the last year for the event, in that location anyway. It was an experience to remember :)
Then, I spent the night at Makiko and Sarah's appartment--very fun! We had a dance party and I have to say we can bust a few good moves! Daaaaaaaang! I especially enjoyed dancing to "I WIll Survive"!! Had a good morning hanging out with Makiko at Powells (I love it there!). Bought a book on overseas living and have made it a goal that before I go I have to know the answers to all the questions asked in the book that it recommends one knows about a country before traveling there. Knowledge here I come! Woot!
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Yesterday I laughed so hard with my cousin about a bag of cookies somewhat magically falling into my hand that tears streamed down my face. I am sure my face was also quite red. We always seem to get into these huge laughing fits. Feels good.
Today I woke up and had a email from the overseas office explaining last minute details about my DR trip. Instead of getting really nervous, I felt the most excited I have felt about this five month trip abroad so far. It just seems like the right time for me to get out of the country, out of Portland, out of my comfort zone. Don't get me wrong, I am still nervous, but I just see all the exciting opportunities this trip has to offer at a time when I feel ready for a little change. I can't remember really ever wanting a change, because in general I make a point to fear it. I want to remove myself from "the norm" of my life, where I have developed a certain behavior, personae (spelling?) around people (that I do really love and care about) and I want to see if that is really me when I am away from that. Besides I think I am too nice and I am too concerned about making sure that everybody likes me. But maybe that is just me! I guess I am going to try to find out. Exciting!!
This selfish post in which I talk entirely about myself is brought to you by me, me, me. | | |
|  Do you like the new look?
Visitng my cousin in Seattle and I'm seeing Clay today (!!) Yay!
New motto: Can't please everyone, so ya gotta please yourself. | | |
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